I want to have your abortion
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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