Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
worst night to have a conscience
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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