I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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