is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We smell like vodka and hangover
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
