Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
