ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
