her facebook's as public as her vagina
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
