your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The struggles of a small town man whore
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
