that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
