I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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