Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Randomize
