I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
