The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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