"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
