hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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