but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
