I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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