Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
