So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
