What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
