I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
