First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
