eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
