She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
