Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Text me some of your sweat
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