Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
