I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
