WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
