you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
