so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
