That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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