so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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