when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
