I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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