So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
