the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
