Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
