How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
