shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i dont even know how to be here
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
