I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
