so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
