Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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