and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
