so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
