Having a random hookup so left but love u
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
