You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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