Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
