I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
