you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
