I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just puked most of my soul out..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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