I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
