Can Purell be used as lube?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
